Home : our love story, scaled. – Medium

August, 2018

Today I decided to drive to Sausalito. I heard the name several times over the past year and it was the right evening for a walk and some dinner.

In my mind’s eye, Sausalito was just like the words “Twitter” and “LinkedIn” several years ago. Sure, I knew the names. I kind of knew what they were about. I never thought I’d join Twitter or LinkedIn.

I’m so glad I did. It turned out to be wonderful for so many reasons we’ve already deduced and written and read.

And it is wonderful for goals of healthcare and medicine.

Sometimes when I really think about how long medicine has been traveling down the road, or even how long I’ve been in the field, I am surprised at the stagnation and unexpected innovations. And I’m impatient for cures and better treatments.

I think about this every day, a lot. I rework policies and systems, I consider individual stories of people I meet and how their lives could be better with stronger collaboration. I try to balance my heartache at others suffering with bright optimism in medicine reform.

We know research and treatments go hand in hand with better medicine delivery. I build these structures, let them marinate, add some quality sweet cream in my mind. I do this every day.

Thank you for letting me work that using LinkedIn, using Twitter. Thank you for having initiated the publications on LinkedIn, and for not only allowing me to share on Twitter but being a participant alongside me.

I love you so, so, so much.

And of course, these sentiments don’t have much to do with the actual professional work. But boy would we get bottled up if we couldn’t express who we are, where we come from, how we love.

That’s Mr. Williams and Medium providing that conduit. Quite an important element from such quiet that never demands accolades.

Anyway, Starbucks is where I wrote all those LinkedIn health publications and most of my published health articles.

I love everything about the way Starbucks has been built and run. And it was soothing to write and publish there, too.

So Sausalito was something I saved, because just like Twitter and LinkedIn it was a name before an experience.

And just like Twitter and LinkedIn, the experience thoroughly exceeded.

I first stopped off at Larkspur, because it was on the way and I wanted to know suburban Northern Bay Area. School was just getting out and families were everywhere. That’s a good thing.

The downtown was sweet and quaint, though I dislike using quaint. It’s a word that is overused in life. This downtown, however, is truly quaint.

Emporio Rulli was so much more than I thought it would be.

In Minnesota I vocalized how I wouldn’t be headed to space anytime soon, and I intended to spend a little time baking for Greylock. These little tarts reminded me that my heart meant it.

Of course I chose an Italian cookie, because I am from Addison and the Italian cookies remind me of home.

Proudly remind me of home, by the way.

I then walked to some shops and it was very hard not to purchase a couple of cute expressions.

Cute dishes are a sweet find. However, without a second to spare I found my thoughts drifting back to my time traveling to Chicago’s airport. You know, during the Ebola outbreak when I was working for the CDC and you were getting to know me.

Remember how I used bold, hard, callous words on Twitter toward others? We know most of that was a facade, and much of it was frustration at the situation. None of it was my soft, true voice. At the time, I questioned why I should be myself with those who never bothered to come to me directly.

Still, I think on Twitter and LinkedIn with such open heart. Especially as we could grow in personal love and in professional healthcare.

I can’t believe I let the situation get the better of me, and I can’t believe I tried to force a voice I was not. I am sorry if those words made others feel sad, deserved or not. Though I’m not sure there are many times in life when one “deserves” something negative. And the singling out one newspaper creator or a few I didn’t feel had a right to my personal life was undeserved.

Anyway, I remembered my frustrated “let’s dish” comments on Twitter. We’re not going to pretend those moments away. We’re going to address them honestly, and I’ve done so here.

You’ve seen me at my worst, when I forgot how important it is to walk with grace. And you loved me anyway.

Life’s too beautiful to not walk in grace. And it’s too beautiful for me not to tell you I love you.

Next up I tried some delicious frozen yogurt and yes, I put gummies on it to remind me of my best girl friend. My initial Medium posts included that story and feel free to read it again if you want. Thanks again goes to Mr. Ev Williams for the ability to share.

Next time you all want me to move somewhere, please, please just come ask me directly. Fog makes my hair look weird, bugs in my kitchen are no fun either, and with all of that I get a little crabby.

This Mag’s place was delicious and not too expensive. Larkspur is a really great town.

I headed over through Mill Valley and stopped at a nursery.

Mavs fans everywhere make me feel good.

Too, I rarely see lanterns at nurseries. I had to snap a picture, not only because of the rarity but because of the symbolism.

Lanterns are the public health nurse symbol.

Just like social media platforms and their leadership (my sweethearts), this trip was truly exceeding my quiet hopes.

Public health nurses can lead through anything, and some of us have the sheer will to do so. Thank you for again and again and again for accompanying me and providing for me. This thank you sentence would be like a thousand smooches all over your face if your face was next to me as I type.

So I took the scenic drive rather than the highway, and the marsh was pretty cool looking.

I took this photo and was instantly grateful I didn’t take the highway. Google Maps, shy and striving to be the best. Of course that effort has more than succeeded.

Now I rarely take photos of sayings because often quotes sound more powerful and true than they are.

Still, I passed by this in Camino Alto and it reminded me of today’s trip.

It’s true that messages change us. But maybe in other things, let goals and endeavors, there is mutual transformation.

Sometimes when we’re set out to do something, like change healthcare for the better, we often get changed along the way too.

We have to let the good stuff stick.

You’re the good stuff. I’m going to let you stick.

As if forever and a day (kind of like taking my time to join Twitter), I finally made it to Sausalito.

It was smaller than I expected, and quiet, and very peaceful. Just a sweet, kind town on the waterfront.

I loved it. No big show, no grandiosity or pretentiousness. What you see is what you get, in a small town elegant way.

To be honest, I felt my heart fill when I noticed not one but two flower shops with outdoor carts. Shops not concerned with selfishness or skeptical suspicion of neighbors, only concerned with vibrant community contribution.

The coffee shop I wanted to try was closed. Secretly I was kind of pleased, because this gives me a chance to return and hopefully it’ll be with you.

You know I love the way the light hits the clouds here. Every place is different. I want you to see Chicago, see the Prairie Path, see the way it the city looks in the morning when you pack up for commute or for a summer vacation. And I want you to see the way light hits the cornfields and crops as you drive fast through the state. I thought about this and then a consideration hit. You were able to share the light here, with me. Beautiful North Bay light. I love it too.

You know how I feel that the movie makers and storytellers in media are an extension of family in my heart? I wondered what they’d think of this theater. Could it be used for a scene? What was it like when first built? What if we refinished it? I pictured this cool old school look, with new uses for the theater in between movies. Independent film instruction, science lectures, community advocacy.

So much good comes from theaters, they are structures we shouldn’t ever take for granted. Kind of like movie makers, screen writers, entertainers.

Kind of like you.

And no, you don’t need refinishing. I love you just the way you are.

I left Sausalito feeling very content, especially because I was feeling more at home in my heart. This pink rose bush, reminding me of San Jose, reminding me of the start of our journey to better the world together, drove that home.

So did the hydrangea bush.

The ability to act upon my daily reworking and thoughts of better healthcare for those suffering continues to be the chance of a lifetime.

And I continue to love ya.

I picked up these matches because they were cool, and because I’m not sure Ev Williams knows that he has been very impactful in the ability to express, which changes our world.

I love these. Let’s not use too many. We can get the cheap ones at Ace for our candles.

Driving from Sausalito to Tiburon wasn’t nearly as long or tedious as expected. Also, the time was right after work and there was hardly any rush hour traffic. I considered this a possible future home, in all honesty. Already small shops, scenic mountains and beautiful boats were drawing me in.

Coffee first, decidedly.

And where better to grab that, on a day when I was reflecting how you’ve let me work my heart for health, than Starbucks.

My former co-employer, my previous workspace for social media endeavors, my always love.

Why can I share all this heart and expressive flow with you for so many years? Because I’m comfortable in my own skin.

Sitting with my coffee, I pulled out my Sausalito purchased lotion. As a nurse and as a lady on the go, I’m always in need of good moisturizer.

So here I am.

I put the lotion on at Starbucks.

Where I’m safe and sound.

Here, where I belong.

Tiburon is beautiful. The people are warm, the walk along the waterfront was perfect and it was an evening where, for the first time in my life in Northern California, I truly felt at home.

It wasn’t just the Chianti talking, though my dinner at Don Antonio’s was also very much at home.

No, it was also the beautiful sunset that captured so much life, so many homes, so much peace and gratitude at being alive.

Just a note — upon taking in this view, I wished we could walk along the beach here together. One day let’s go for that walk.

Now, the at home feeling was also due in part to the parks, I’m sure. The community even included basketball when any other court probably would have sufficed.

And I’m sure I felt at home because the yacht club is also a fan of Chicago sports.

In all honestly, sweethearts, I’m really big into inclusion. It’s as if a bad taste hits when I’m asked to be part of an exclusive club. So I never really gave much thought to yacht clubs.

But if they’re going to be into Chicago sports, then they’ll be all in on inclusiveness.

So many ways for us to have fun in the future…

I didn’t want to leave but it was getting late. Blackie’s pasture came into view and wished I could’ve met this amazing creature. Yes I love horses, but it is the community centeredness that I appreciated here.

As my evening closed in one of the most beautiful parts of North Bay, I found myself reflecting again on how much there is to look forward in medicine and health, all over the world. I can be a part of this, and much of that is because of you alongside, you letting me be a part online.

I hope you have had good from me too, and if so let it stick.

In Tiburon I found a Square unknowingly a little under construction, so I helped out. A little labor of love brings about a lot of good.

Above all, I knew I felt at home because of pictures. It is true that with comfort comes the ability to capture one’s true self on film. Sometimes, though, it is hard to get that 100% rather than 90% capture of comfort.

I guess somewhere along the way today, with all the lotion and Starbucks good, I caught it in this selfie below.

My full comfort in my own skin. A 100% reflection how I felt truly at home.

Safe and sound.

Where I belong, with you.

Chianti, grace and chill?


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