DIY : DIY Meth Fall Fashion 2018 – Pickle Fork – Medium

Photo by Terra Evans on Unsplash

If you’re downtown in just about any city you might see a few guys in cut off jorts standing around a shady tree with their BMX bikes and cell phones in hand and think “Geez, how can I get all these cool piles of garbage bags strapped together with a million bungee cords?!” Here are some of the tweaker accessories you can do ALL yourself for Fall 2018.

“Cracked” Phone

This fall accessory looks like it should be easy to make, right? WRONG! After you try throwing your phone on the ground, chucking it 30 miles an hour at a brick wall a foot away and smashing it straight on with a rock you’ll discover this exact look is hard to achieve. What you’ll want to do is drop it fifty times and then proceed to tear off the back and add wires until it looks like a high school electronics remote jammer. And somehow you’ll still be able to hear a voice going in and out on the other end.

Custom Bike with Shit Attachment

Ever laid your eyes on one of these babies? No, you haven’t cause no two are alike. Each bike seems to rival the next on how much crap can be literally strapped on to a baby carrier. All you need to make your own is a stolen bike, a stolen baby carrier and a bunch of shit. It’s easy!

A dome tent surrounded by a stack of grocery carts, a ’86 class A Bounder RV surrounded by grocery carts or a grocery cart surrounded by a bunch of grocery carts

This look never seems to go out of style. First you’ll need a dumpy RV or a tent with a million tarps and bungie cords. Next you’ll need a fuckload of grocery carts. Place the grocery carts outside the tent or RV randomly as if they blew onto the scene in a jet pack.

Broken Blinds

This one is pretty straight forward. If your newly acquired trap house doesn’t have its own matching set of broken blinds what you’ll want to do is set some regular generic blinds up and every fifteen minutes pace over and erratically spread them apart looking for cops, the CIA, Russian spies, probation officers and nosy neighbors. Do this for about a month and the blinds will begin to set. Soon you’ll be able to go outside (but won’t) and see the difference.

Backpacks

You don’t have a home and you don’t have a car so your backpack is what is going to set you apart from the rest. You’ll want to make sure that you secure a top of the line turtle shell to store all your flashlights, headlamps, portable chargers and ten cracked phones so you can dumpster dive in style and convenience, not to mention (if you’re a male) attract a nice lady that looks identical to an upside down broom.

You’d think with such attainable trends it would eliminate jealousy and competition among your peers, but beware there will always be a bitch out there cutting you down cause you and your tiny dog look more anorexic then her and your boyfriend is under-the-table mechanic that owns his own Aerostar van with five different color doors welded on. In the real world you’re a highly dysfunctional and unsanitary junkie that everyone wishes would get long term psychiatric help, but in the meth world every street side curb is a runway for you to flaunt your saggy skin like a bankrupt Paris Hilton…on meth.

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