DIY : Clever Life Hacks for the Desperate Creative Supplies Hoarder
You don’t need more aquarelle brushes, you need to get your life together.
First you had a “creative supplies box”. Then it became a cupboard. Then before you even knew it, your whole house became a museum called “Where creative supplies go to die”, and you the guide.
Face it: In the scenario where you magically get more free time (getting fired from your job is an option), and you weirdly want to spend all of it on creating things and not getting out of your house (that’s alarming), you couldn’t still possibly use all of this.
But…good news! Here are some specific and easy-peasy life hacks that will allow you to get rid of all this creative devilry and not get killed by that unstable pile of paint buckets falling on your face. Let’s get started!
Beads: Oh, the beautiful necklaces you were going to make for you and your family, the compliments you were going to get! Those beads bags are still not opened, are they?
Why not: Sprinkle them on your salads and impress your friends by pretending they’re the new must-eat seed that’s going to replace chia. And it even comes in instagram-feed-friendly colours!
Buttons: It has been calculated that to use the total amount of buttons that you own, you would need to be making a cardigan for a 307 meters tall person.
Why not: Shove them in a piñata, take it to your little nephew’s birthday party, pretend it’s filled with coins, watch the kids go crazy on it, and as it breaks before their puzzled and disappointed eyes, precise “Creativity coins”. You’ll never get invited to those horrible birthday parties again!
Fabrics: Ever been a kid and turned your bedroom into a blanket fort ?
Why not: Think bigger, and turn your whole neighbourhood into a blanket fort. It’s so creative even real-ass artists are doing it!
Threads: Of course, when you got all those amazing fabrics, you were determined not to get hindered in your creative flow by a lack of preparation, so you also bought the matching threads! Clever you!…The fabrics and the threads are both sitting untouched on a shelf, aren’t they?
Why not: Start a business of urban detox workshop where people come pretend to be a cat and forget all of their troubles while chasing a coloured bobbin. You can make the world a better place and charge 50£/hour while doing so (bobbin included).
Leather: So you were planning on making a leather jacket, uh? Clearly overestimated your skills there, didn’t you? Now every second that you spend living with this giant roll of flayed cow skin takes you closer to becoming a vegetarian, and we can’t be having that.
Why not: Glue it on the walls and floors and furniture and revamp your bedroom into a BDSM-themed dungeon! All the cool mums are doing it! No sewing required!
7 boxes of colour pencils: Faber-Castell for life, bro. You already had 6 boxes, but this new one has a SILVER pencil! How amazing! It does just look grey on paper…but who cares!
Why not: Use them as chop sticks every time you order sushi on UberEats after getting home drunk at 2AM! Unpractical? As in, normal chop sticks are super practical and you can absolutely use them? Please.
Wool: Do you even knit bro ? NO YOU DON’T. Ain’t nobody got time for that!
Why not: Go to a nursing home and give all that wool to a lovely old lady in exchange of her making you the sole heir on her will. How nice of you to care for the elderly!
Tiny leftover scraps of materials: “This could come in handy some day!”. What are you going to make, a dress for ants?
Why not: Throw them all in the garbage where they belong.
Glue: Fabric glue, stick glue, glue gun, you got aaaall them glues, don’t you?
Why not: Use them to shut down all the doors and windows of your house before you go out and buy new creative supplies. It’s for your own good.